The holidays typically present stresses, especially the December holidays.  Knowing how to handle these stresses is important to surviving them and safeguarding your wellness.

My first topic this week is hopefully a “one-off ” and involves very bad decision making that certainly added to the stress of the holidays for one law student.  As reported by several news sources, a pregnant second-year student, whose baby was due on December 2, 2024, a date that fell within the exam period at her law school, requested permission to take exams early to avoid delivering her baby during the exam period and missing exams.  The administration at Georgetown Law initially denied her request because it was considered to be “inequitable to other non-birthing students.” That denial angered fellow students, who lodged a petition in support of the request, causing administrators to reconsider their denial.  Although a reasonable accommodation was reached with the mother-to-be, the actions of the administration offend me in my role as advocate for women lawyers, and the fact that it happened at my law alma mater especially disappoints me.

My second topic concerns how young lawyers can deal with holiday stress, and I also draw on my background for this information.  I am a member of the Virginia Bar, and I was pleased to see an article in the December issue of the Virginia Lawyer hilighting this important subject.  The most important messages for young lawyers addressed there include the following:  Setting boundaries with both family and professional colleagues during an especially busy and hectic season; Practicing mindfulness by staying “in the moment,” remaining positive and not requiring perfection in every situation; And providing as much personal time and self-care as possible.

This is very good advice — but it takes a purposeful and direct approach.  Be respectful when articulating your needs, and don’t forget to express gratitude for the cooperation of others in helping you get through the holidays and enjoy the season.

I am writing this blog just days after the 2024 national elections, at a time when issues affecting women’s health, including the right to abortion and procedures like in vitro fertilization, were on the ballots in some states and on the minds of many voters.  The election results demonstrated once again, however, as women know so well, that progress on women’s issues is hard won.  Some times we have to fight the same battle over and over and over again to be victorious.

Even though the issues affecting women at large fell short in this election, it does not mean that the issues lack importance or that we should give up on advocating for them at every turn.  And that is similarly true of the issues affecting women lawyers, which also need greater awareness and heightened advocacy.

One very important such issue falls squarely under the umbrella of the work-life challenge.  The disparate treatment experienced by women lawyers after they become mothers touches so many young women lawyers, and it is another of the issues affecting women that is defined by progress achieved over a long continuum.

For women lawyers like me, who had their children in the 1980’s, it was hardly a surprise to find that, once we became mothers, our dedication to our profession and our opportunities in the profession were questioned and attacked by employers.  Because we did not have the advocacy groups which exist today, we were forced to take whatever the men in power around us were willing to give us.  And, as it turned out, that was not much.  As unsatisfactory as those results were, we hoped for more for our daughters.  But did we get it?

A 2023 survey would lead us to think that the answer is no.  That survey, conducted by the American Bar Association (ABA) Commission on Women in the Profession, found that mothers in the legal profession are much more likely to feel perceived “as less competent and less committed” than their male colleagues with children or other colleagues without children.  Interestingly, the survey showed that 60% of mother lawyers working in law firms settings had this perception, while only 25% of male lawyers with children experienced that same perception.  Most of the new lawyer dads continued their practices business as usual, with the exception that many of them worked more hours after they became dads.  (Hmmmm.  Wonder what is behind that. I will leave it to your musings.)

Recently, that ABA survey was the subject of a panel at Harvard Law School.  Part of the discussion centered on the choices that lawyer moms had in “the old days.”  The consequences of the motherhood penalty then included women leaving jobs and, in some cases, leaving the workforce altogether.  It also was discussed that the women who experienced the penalty in the early years likely were not members of the “sandwich generation” —  perhaps because they were younger when they became mothers than many first time women lawyers are today.  Many lawyer moms today are caring for aging parents as well as children because women are having children into their 40’s and their parents are living longer.  So the impact of the motherhood penalty may be even more significant today.

With these facts, it is more important than ever that law firm managers look carefully at the perceptions of the value of mother lawyers at their firms and the adverse effects of firm policies based on those perceptions.  It is also important that law organizations and women lawyers affinity groups make the subject a priority for their members.

If the billable hour continues to be the primary measure of individual values and family values are not prioritized by law firms, lawyer mothers will continue to be disadvantaged.  It is no secret that the largest share of caretaking responsibilities land on women, and, with only so many hours in the day, too often lawyer moms become discouraged and succumb to self doubt.  They begin to believe that they are not good enough at the office and not good enough at home.

Harsh consequences like that are not productive and can be very harmful.   My experience tells me that increased attention to these inequities need to be addressed sooner rather than later.

For more information on the survey, check out this website.