The Best Friends at the Bar Mission For Women Lawyers — A Look Back at 2017

Posted on November 29, 2017

The Best Friends at the Bar year is about to come to a close. Yes, I know that the entire month of December lies ahead before the Big Ball drops in Times Square and that you still have time for holiday shopping, holiday cards, holiday decorations, attending parties, giving parties, baking and cooking … and the list goes on. Do not panic, you have plenty of time to accomplish all this and more. You are young and energetic and incredibly resourceful. I have complete faith in you.

I, on the other hand, have the luxury of taking the month of December off each year to address my work-life balance. December is when I concentrate on family and friends and help make memories. It is when I listen to music, play the piano, read books, take long walks, and watch all the movies that I have missed earlier in the year. It is when I stick close to home and don’t travel on business. It renews me and gets me ready to jump into the new year with gusto and enthusiasm to connect once again with you, my readers.

So, this is my last blog of 2017, and it seems appropriate to look back on the year and see where the mission on behalf of women lawyers has taken Best Friends at the Bar. Here is the retrospective:

I have delivered key note addresses at bar associations, including the Oklahoma Bar Association and the Tampa, Florida chapter of the Federal Bar Association;
I have spoken at law firms in Washington, DC and New York City and to other industry groups across the country;
I have served on panel discussions and written over 50 blogs on subjects from Advocacy to Zero Tolerance;
I have written the draft manuscript for a new book for Millennial lawyers; and
I have perfected a program on Soft Skills for Lawyers, which will be available in 2018.

This has kept me very busy, and I have enjoyed it all. Best Friends at the Bar is a gratifying project that positively affects the lives of so many women lawyers, and I am blessed to have the opportunity to carry out this mission. I hear from many of you, and your comments make it all worth while …

Like the young woman standing in the back of a ballroom at one of my speaking engagements earlier this year. She was holding a baby and doing the “mommy rock” as she listened intently to my remarks. I met her later and she told me that she has a two-year-old at home and this new baby. She said that she doubted whether she could continue in law practice until she heard me speak about the many faces of success. She smiled broadly and said that she had called her husband and told him, “I just heard this woman speak, and I know I’m going to make it now.”

That says it all …. except Happy Holidays to all of you. See you next year!

Career Counselors, Law Firm Managers, Law School Educators, Law Students, Lifestyle, Practice Advice, Pre-law, Young Lawyer | Comment

Thought For The Day

Posted on November 27, 2017

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”

Sam Ewing

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Women Lawyers in America Should Give Thanks

Posted on November 23, 2017

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I hope that you are surrounded by friends and family and celebrating all of the blessings in your lives. I am sure there are many.

One of those blessings is that you are women in America and, to boot, women lawyers in America. We take so much for granted here, and we complain about unfair treatment and lost opportunities, but the truth is that we are the luckiest women on earth.

We are working our way toward full equality in the workplace, and I have real hope that it will happen in my lifetime. We live in a society protected by free speech and a Bill of Rights unparalleled in the world, and we have a judicial system to back it up and make those freedoms matter. We can be anything we want to be here in America, within reason, as long as we make the right choices and respect people along the way.

While it is true that women are feeling very violated as a group in the shadow of today’s headlines disclosing more and more shocking details of sexual abuse and harassment, it also is true that women finally are feeling the force to call out the wrongdoers and speak truth to power. That is huge, and even if men do not change their behaviors, women are changing their own. We are learning to become the tribe we need to be to advance our causes and protect our futures.

So rejoice in your blessings and make this a day to remember. This is the day you take even greater control of your lives.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Career Counselors, Law School Educators, Law Students, Lifestyle, Pre-law, Young Lawyer | Comment

Thought For The Day

Posted on November 24, 2017

“Individual commitment to a group effort — that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.”

Vince Lombardi

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Thought For The Day

Posted on November 20, 2017

“The things that we share in our world are far more valuable than those which divide us.”

Captain Donald Williams
Astronaut

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Advice for Women Lawyers — A Variety of Perspectives

Posted on November 15, 2017

Today I am speaking at Gibson Dunn in New York City, in the heart of BigLaw. (OK, so I am not writing this blog as I prepare to take the stage to keynote the luncheon, but my preparation of this blog coincided with my preparation for my remarks at Gibson Dunn. Close enough.)

As I prepared my remarks for “Owning Your Career” for the Gibson Dunn Women’s Mentoring Circle, I recalled an article that I recently read titled “Advice (I wish I had been given) for Women Starting Careers in BigLaw.” The author has been practicing for eight years in Big Law, and she claims to have had an “overwhelmingly positive experience.” I always am happy to hear that. I also am happy to hear that she appreciates the unique challenges to women lawyers that can make or break a career. Certainly she is likely to encounter a lot of them along the road to partnership if that is what her goal is in Big Law. Here are the highlights of the article:

Don’t let yourself get siloed into ministerial tasks;
Learn to delegate and don’t feel guilty about it;
Make your voice heard; and
If there is an issue, speak up for yourself.

The advice is good, and I especially like the author’s treatment of the last bullet where she states,

If you feel you are not getting the opportunities to which you are entitled, you have two options: (i) you can sulk, blame the firm, complain incessantly over snacks in the associate lounge, anonymously post on ATL and/or quit the firm; or (ii) you can speak up about it.

I compared this to the advice that I gave in this article for Huffington Post a number of years ago. A fundamental difference between the two articles is that I write for all young women lawyers — not just those in Big Law — so my advice is more about career planning and execution that is common to the experience of most women lawyers.

Here is the advice that I offered in that article and that I would offer today — to all women lawyers:

Embrace the novelty of being a woman lawyer in a field full of men but do it right;
Recognize that male lawyers and female lawyers think and interact differently;
Support other women lawyers;
Create a life balance that includes paying attention to personal needs and health — even while being an excellent lawyer; and
Craft your own definition of success in the law.

Here also is an interview that I gave to The Muse years ago about why women leave the law. That is looking backwards to see where it all went wrong — something that is helpful to know as well.

And for those of you thinking about a career in the law, here is another advice piece that I did for Girl’s Guide to Law School.

I believe that there is a lot of room for advice from seasoned veterans of the profession, and I also believe that you need all the good advice you can get. So, go ahead and help yourself!