I read a quote from a woman judge recently, and it lines up so well with the advice that I give to young lawyers, both male and female. In the words of Patricia Brown Holmes, former Cook County, Illinois Judge:

Be like Nike and just do it — don’t let anything get in your way.

Of course, you must first go to law school and get the best grades possible — study hard and stay on top of every subject. Then get a job doing what you like.

We are always most successful when we are happy. So have fun as a lawyer. Learn. Explore. Watch. Soak it all in. Network with other lawyers so you develop and build relationships and references. Find judicial mentors. Learn their path as you develop your own.

Then, when the time is right and you have developed the skills, wisdom, judgment, confidence and support — make your move. If it does not happen, try again and again until you make it.

Great advice. Do what you like. Your work does not have to be your passion, but you need to enjoy your work.

Passion is not the same as enjoyment. People have passion for their families. People have passion for their hobbies, their avocations, and their artistic pursuits. People even have passion for their pets. But when people have passion for their work, it usually means that they are ignoring families, things, and pursuits that could expand their lives and make those lives particularly pleasurable.

Workaholics may believe that they have passion for their work, but, too often, they leave trails of lost opportunities in marriages and families behind them. You do not want to be one of them.

My professional experience lines up with this approach. I loved my work as a trial lawyer until I had a family. After that, my priorities changed. I put less emphasis on upward mobility and more emphasis on the quality of my work. I gave up partnership to be able to work part-time and meet the needs of my family. I ultimately gave up private practice and chose public service for the same reasons. And I never looked back or regretted my choices. Eventually, when my children were older and more self-sufficient, I returned to private practice as a partner.

Many women do not have to make those tough choices in today’s private law firms. Part-time lawyers can make partner today. There is far more flexibility in schedules to allow for family time and practice time. But, it may not be enough. Each lawyer has a unique view of job satisfaction, and it is all very personal.

So, be scrutinizing of your work opportunities. Find what you enjoy doing, and do it. Do not settle because you have been in a job for a long time and do not know how to leave. Don’t settle because you do not want to admit defeat. Don’t settle because you are afraid of the way others will perceive you. Figure it out. You will look back years later and be very satisfied with your decision. And you will have taken your best shot at happiness in your work.

It takes bravery and confidence to make tough decisions. But if you want it bad enough, you will reach deep down to pull out those attributes and live up to the promise that you should have made to yourself: Do not let you stand in the way of your happiness.

This is the last in a series of blogs based on information gleaned from a Women in Law Empowerment Forum (WILEF) virtual meeting presented by the WILEF Chicago Young Lawyers Committee to address impacts on women lawyers of practice during the pandemic.  The first installment, published on August 5, 2020, addressed the subject of setting boundaries, the second installment, published on August 20th addressed privacy issues in a Zoom world, and the third installment addressed self-advocacy. Today’s topic is work-life balance and quality of life.

The profession of law has changed a lot since I started practicing more than 40 years ago. Women’s affinity groups, flexible schedules, achieving partnerships on less than full schedules — these are all new developments that have made the profession better for women. There is a lot that has been accomplished, but there is still a long way to go before women and men have the same opportunities in our profession.

Today, some of the issues have changed. Although the challenges for women lawyers are still very much in the spotlight, issues affecting broader diverse populations are now front and center as well. Addressing these issues responsibly takes time — time that affects the balance that is difficult for women in the law to achieve, especially those women with family and children care taking responsibilities. For every hour spent in committee meetings, practitioners have to find another hour in the day to work on client matters.

And clients also have become involved, too. Some clients are very proactive about how matters are staffed and are demanding more and more transparency on issues related to diversity. Clients scrutinize bills to see how the team actually functions and demand that diverse lawyers, who are assigned to the matter, actually work on the matter and are not just window dressing to secure the representation.

All of these varied responsibilities make it hard for lawyers to balance work life with home life. Some of the panelists described themselves as overwhelmed and in need of managers, who understood their need for boundaries and their aversion to false deadlines. They described the importance of learning to prioritize to meet even the true deadlines, and how much harder it has been during COVID-19 with kids at home and spouses working out of the same space. Some of these women found themselves turning to lawyer assistance programs, behavior therapy, and even medication to keep them in the game. One of them left practice. These measures all may seem extreme, but they are realistic. The law is a tough taskmaster.

The panelists all agreed that you have to do what is right for YOU. Law practice is not for everyone, and it may not be for you. Be honest about it, explore alternatives, and get the help you need.

Careers can be very long these days. Choose well, and remember that you don’t always get it right the first time. Be true to yourself, and let happiness be your goal.