What Women Lawyers Can Learn From a Big Storm

I live in the Washington DC area, Northern Virginia, specifically, and the recent storm that we experienced was especially forceful and caused a lot of damage from downed trees and power lines, flying debris, washed out bridges—you get the picture.  You probably caught some images of the storm on the television news, and they don’t begin to tell the story.  Many homes are still without power, and it may not be restored until the end of the week.

Confession time.  We have a generator at our house, so we are in better shape than most.  Don’t hate me.  We have been on this property for over 30 years, and it is remote and is really compromised during storms.  The generator is a fairly recent purchase after all the lessons learned, and it was worth every penny.  Even so, I still have fears of the masses attacking Chez Blakely and stringing me up or beheading me for my excesses.  I will be heard to mumble “Let them drink Pinot Noir” Marie Antoinette style if that happens!

Speaking of lessons learned.  It occurred to me, while I was working in the yard over the last few days removing storm debris, that this storm and the hot weather that accompanies it have survival themes that can easily relate to women lawyers and their career quests.  Here are a few.

Conserve your energy.  As I was picking up sticks and limbs in 100-degree plus weather today, I remembered to take it slow and conserve my energy in the extreme heat.  The same is true for you young women.  It is a long career, and you must pace yourself like distance runners.  Maintain a steady pace and do not burn out too soon—or “hit the wall,” as runners say.  Have a professional plan in mind and try to stick to it.  Sure, there will be times like trials and the big M&A matters when you will have go full steam ahead for longer than you would like.  However, all things end, and you need to remember to reward yourself with some R&R when it is over to regain your rhythm and your pace.  The next big project will come soon enough.

Do not let yourself get too hot.  It was not a pretty picture watching me “feel the heat” as I was doing this morning during the debris removal (Kathryn Hepburn said that ladies do not sweat or perspire, they “feel the heat!), but I have news for the Old African Queen herself.  I was doing something a whole lot less ladylike than “feeling the heat” in 100+ temperatures and good old Virginia humidity.

However, it is not that kind of heat that I think of when I think of your careers.  It is the heat that comes from temper and anger.  If you do not want to be called the B-word or worse, you must learn not to play into the hands of the name-callers.  When you feel your temper start to rise, excuse yourself and come back at that topic again some time when you can present a calmer exterior.  Men too often associate temper in women with the kinds of emotions that they do not feel comfortable with.  Under those circumstances, the conversation is likely to be cut short, and you will be declared the big loser.  At all costs, save the tears and the tantrums for your private life–where I doubt that they work real well either.

Be persistent.  Each little stick or branch that I picked up after the storm mattered.  I just had to keep at it, along with the other members of my family who were doing the same. Little piles become bigger piles and soon things are looking pretty good again.  Without the little piles, you cannot get to the bigger piles.

The same is true of your career.  Hang in there even when the going gets tough and it seems unbearable.  Do not give up too soon and before you know whether you have what it takes to be successful as a lawyer.  In most situations, you will surprise yourself, and you want to stick around for the kudos when that happens.  Work is called work because it is not play, and part of work is the great rewards you will feel after overcoming the odds and making a bad situation better.

Being persistent in finding ways to get the help you need to accomplish a work/life balance that will work for you is the theme of my new book, Best Friends at the Bar:  The New Balance for Today’s Woman Lawyer, which will be released by Wolters Kluwer Law & Business on July 19th.  Get a copy asap, and find out how to rediscover yourself in this profession and find some fabulous role models in the women I profile, who have done just that.

Good luck putting the lessons I learned from the big storm to work in your profession and in your career.

PS:  Sometimes life is remarkably fair.  Our generator quit!  We are now without power and water—because our property is on a well operated by an electric pump—and I am feeling everyone else’s pain.  But gone is the guilt from my excesses, and I no longer fear the masses!  There is always a silver lining!