This morning I was in a favorite coffee shop, working on my lap top and waiting for an appointment. I overheard a conversation that I want to pass on to all of you. This is in the category of “For Your Own Good,” so please read on.
A young woman, who seemed to be in her mid to late 20’s, was seated next to me at the coffee bar and also was working on her computer. A young man was sitting on the other side of her, and he started talking to her and asking her questions. I could hear the conversation, and it was clear that the two of them had not met before today. He was persistent with his questions, and she was somewhat reluctantly answering them. By the time that he left, he knew the following: Her first name; where she worked; that she telecommuted on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and that she had a boyfriend — in response to his very direct question.
Ladies, DO NOT DO THIS! No matter how bad you feel for some awkward or lonely guy, who is trying to get to know you, just DO NOT DO IT! This guy may be perfectly harmless, but he has a lot of information now and can presume to find this young lady at the same coffee bar on Tuesdays and Wednesdays or at her place of business on the other days of the week. He can find out a lot of other things about her on line with a first name and the employee pictures that so many companies and firms put on web sites today.
You know, without asking, that I mentioned this to her before I left. I did it very unobtrusively and politely, but I had to do it for all of the reasons that I know you understand. She could have been my daughter, and I would want someone to protect my daughter in that way. She thanked me at least three times before I left. She said that it does not happen to her much, and, you can bet, that is exactly what he was counting on. It can be flattering, and he knows that. But it should not be. It should be scary.
Be smarter. Be creative. Tell him that you are on deadline and cannot talk to him. If it persists, get up and move or leave. If you are followed, go to a safe place.
There are plenty of ways to get introduced — even to people who may interest you — that do not involve this kind of random risk. Just DO NOT DO IT!
