I have had lots of time to reflect recently as I recover from knee surgery—an old ski injury flaring up again. Post-op recovery includes lots of time on a Continuous Passive Motion machine and a second machine to cool the surgery site—not a happy place to be for someone active like me. But, my daughter knew exactly what to do to keep me content, and she introduced me to the reruns of the popular TV show Mad Men. So, I currently am wading my way through Season 3 and rejecting pain medication so that I can stay awake and become completely addicted to Mad Men. So far, it’s working!
I love a lot about Mad Men because it reminds me of all the 50’s and 60’s stuff in my house growing up. My dad even had one of those “man’s valet” things for hanging out his clothes for the next day, like the one in Don and Betsy Draper’s suburban bedroom. However, that is where the similarities between my father and Don Draper end, and that is a great relief!
In addition to being entertained by Mad Men, I also have discovered some real gems in the story line that are appropos for young women lawyers today. For instance, remember the episode from Season 2 when Don Draper and his companion are headed to their afternoon liaison at the shore, and they get into a car accident? The companion, a “client” of sorts, ends up at discreet Peggy’s apartment sleeping off the effects of alcohol and waiting for her tell-tale black eye to fade in color. She gives Peggy some sage advice. Although I am not impressed by the counselor, I am impressed by the counsel—especially for that time in history. She can see that Peggy is ambitious, and she tells Peggy not to act like a man to get where she wants to go. She tells her to start acting like a woman and play on par with the men.
That advice fits perfectly with one of the big themes of Best Friends at the Bar. I tell young women in my books and in my speaking appearances that they will have to throw off the time-honored recipes for success that are rooted in male stereotypes. Young women professionals today have many different considerations and responsibilities in their private lives than the average male, and the young women will have to chart their own courses, including developing their own personal definitions of success.
Those personal definitions of success can include part-time practice or full-time practice for those who have the help they need on the home front. The definitions can include law firm practice or alternative practice settings like not-for-profit, academia, in-house at a corporation, and public service. All of those alternatives and others are explored in my new book that will come out later this year. Keep an eye out for it.
Developing personal definitions of success will allow young women lawyers to succeed at their practices of choice and to stay in the profession during the most challenging work-life years. It will allow them to preserve their professional selves for the time when the responsibilities of home and family wane and they have opportunities to dive back into practice with a renewed effort and a new definition of success.
This is not exactly the message that the “client” was delivering to Peggy in Mad Men, but those were different times. If you think professional life is difficult for women today, check out a few of the episodes. Women may have it tough today because of the work-life struggle and the remnants of a male-dominated profession, but at least they are not invisible in the room on anything of a serious nature.
However, the theme of Mad Men is similar to Best Friends at the Bar. You are not men, and you cannot always compete with them in the same way that other men can. There will be times in your careers when home and family will make competing on an even playing field with men almost impossible. Practically speaking, you cannot compete with the men unless you have no greater responsibilities in your personal life than the men you work for or the men you compete against.
So, be Mad Women! Be your own person, chart your own course, define your own success and celebrate when you accomplish your goals. Go after what you want, and be smart about the way you do it. Preserve your options however you can. It will not always be such a difficult work-life struggle, and you will want to be around to chart your new course when that time comes.
It worked for me, and I hope it works for you!
