Public Speaking Is Good For Your Career

Posted on December 12, 2024

Have you been invited to give remarks recently, to members of your firm, to a bar association or to a client gathering?

If that sounds scary, it does not have to be. You do not have to shy away from volunteering to make a presentation, and you should never refuse an invitation. Public speaking can make a big difference in your career, and it requires the kind of preparation that makes it look easy.

I have given a lot of speeches during my career, especially after I started the Best Friends at the Bar project. My last speaking engagement was #99, and I will top off #100 when I address a law school audience in early 2025. I speak at law firms, law schools and law organizations throughout the country, and I always enjoy it. I also always use written notes, with the exception of Q and A. There is no way of preparing notes for Q and A because you never know what to expect. But that is what makes it so enjoyable as a true free-wheeling experience.

For a formal presentation, it is always notes for me. I don’t want to stray from my message, and notes is the way to prevent that from happening. Notes can be in the form of an outline, or they can be excerpts from your speech text. Notes also can be colored highlights on your speech text — or any other method that keeps you on message and transitioning when you need to as part of a comprehensive subject matter presentation.

What notes cannot be is a visible crutch. In other words, you cannot be stuck to your notes. You MUST maintain eye contact with your audience — significant enough eye contact that you are truly connecting with your audience. Audience members know when that is happening, and that is what they want to see. Practice your speech enough so that you feel like you do not need notes, but do not give up on the notes. At least that is what works for me.

So I was interested when recently I saw a blog by a friend of mine on the subject of notes or no notes. That friend, Jezra Kaye, is an expert on all things related to public speaking, and I wondered what she thought about the notes or no notes debate. As it turns out, Jezra and I are on the same page when it comes to the use of notes.

Jezra’s recent blog, “Is It (Ever) Wrong to Use Speaking Notes?” on her Speak Up For Success website also included reference to two former blogs, “Don’t Hide, Read with Pride” and “How to Make Speaking Notes Work for You.” Jezra has been training speakers for many years, and all of these blogs are helpful to the novice speech giver. It should be obvious from the blog titles that she does not oppose the use of notes. In fact, she is in favor or them if they are used correctly.

Here are a few of Jezra’s tips on the use of notes:

An audience takes its cues from the speaker. If you do not act like your notes are a crutch, your audience will think your use of notes is perfectly acceptable;
Practice your remarks a lot to enable good eye contact with your audience; and
Format your notes so that the transition from audience eye contact back to your notes is seamless.

All of the information on Jezra Kaye’s Speak Up For Success website is useful, and I recommend the content as you take advantage of some of the speaking opportunities that come your way. Challenge yourself in 2025. Give that first speech. You will be glad you did.

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Holiday Stresses and How To Handle Them

Posted on December 5, 2024

The holidays typically present stresses, especially the December holidays. Knowing how to handle these stresses is important to surviving them and safeguarding your wellness.

My first topic this week is hopefully a “one-off ” and involves very bad decision making that certainly added to the stress of the holidays for one law student. As reported by several news sources, a pregnant second-year student, whose baby was due on December 2, 2024, a date that fell within the exam period at her law school, requested permission to take exams early to avoid delivering her baby during the exam period and missing exams. The administration at Georgetown Law initially denied her request because it was considered to be “inequitable to other non-birthing students.” That denial angered fellow students, who lodged a petition in support of the request, causing administrators to reconsider their denial. Although a reasonable accommodation was reached with the mother-to-be, the actions of the administration offend me in my role as advocate for women lawyers, and the fact that it happened at my law alma mater especially disappoints me.

My second topic concerns how young lawyers can deal with holiday stress, and I also draw on my background for this information. I am a member of the Virginia Bar, and I was pleased to see an article in the December issue of the Virginia Lawyer hilighting this important subject. The most important messages for young lawyers addressed there include the following: Setting boundaries with both family and professional colleagues during an especially busy and hectic season; Practicing mindfulness by staying “in the moment,” remaining positive and not requiring perfection in every situation; And providing as much personal time and self-care as possible.

This is very good advice — but it takes a purposeful and direct approach. Be respectful when articulating your needs, and don’t forget to express gratitude for the cooperation of others in helping you get through the holidays and enjoy the season.

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Did Law School Shortchange You?

Posted on November 21, 2024

Most of us have asked the question “Was Law School Worth It?” It usually comes up as we contemplate unmanageable student loan debt, over work, under compensation or all three at once. We are used to this question, and there are no right or wrong answers. It is complicated and highly personal.

However, “Did Law School Shortchange You?” is a different question. It refers to what you learned in law school rather than your current state of affairs. It is about what law school taught you, and it turns out that many young lawyers are asking that question.

In a recent article from Reuters, the conclusion is that law school failed to prepare almost half of the junior associates surveyed. According to the article, 45% of those associates reported that law school did not sufficiently prepare them for the jobs they currently hold. That is a large piece of the associate pie, and those results are very troublesome. It’s kind of like buying an expensive sports car that is nice to look at but does not drive well.

When asked about the areas of legal education which are most deficient, common responses were practical skills and transactional skills. This did not surprise me, and I was not convinced by the arguments of the surveyors attributing some of the perceived deficiencies in legal education to difficulties encountered during the COVID-19 pandemic. My experience tells me that this problem of deficiency in legal education predates the pandemic by decades.

The lack of emphasis on practical skills in law school is a perennial complaint from both supervising partners and entry level associates, and it has not received much of an adequate response from law schools. Many law schools do not require trial practice or negotiation training for graduation, and many law schools also do not put enough emphasis on legal writing, including preparation of transactional documents.

So, far too often, what you might expect to learn in law school is left to seasoned practitioners who supervise and mentor less experienced lawyers. Some do, and some don’t, and those young lawyers left in the lurch without effective mentors have to figure it out for themselves. That can be a very heavy lift with unsatisfactory results.

I did my fair share of mentoring throughout my years of private practice and public service. However, the greatest difference I have been able to make on behalf of young lawyers is inside the covers of my most recent book, New Lawyer Launch: The Handbook for Young Lawyers (Full Court Press, 2023). That book fills the void left after the shortchange of law school and concentrates on the reality of law practice. Chock full of guidance on practical skills and strategies for success, it is unique and candid in its approach and also includes advice from an impressive group of practicing lawyers who join me as book contributors.

You can get a view inside on Amazon Books or on the publisher’s website. Take a look and decide if this book would be helpful to you.

And helpful to other associate lawyers within your sphere. Remember that holiday gift giving is just around the corner!

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Making It Rain: How Are Women Lawyers Doing?

Posted on November 14, 2024

Women lawyers appear to be doing well according to a recent American Bar Association (ABA) Population Survey. Specific examples include information that, in 2023, 39 percent of all lawyers were women, up from 31 percent in 2010. Going back further, from 1950 to 1970, only 3 percent of all lawyers were women, which increased to 8 percent in 1980, and eventually to 39% in 2023.

Sounds good, right? Shows real progress for women lawyers, right?

However, digging down deeper, although approximately 24 percent of all equity partners at U. S. firms were women in 2023, in that same year the percentage of women in senior leadership roles at U.S. firms was much less.

Why is that? Why are there so relatively few women lawyers in senior leadership roles?

For the answer to that, you must think about money, specifically money that comes to the firm through the efforts of individual lawyers. It is known as making it rain money or, for short, rainmaking. Any young lawyer who does not understand the importance of rainmaking and its impact on careers, is missing the boat in terms of upward mobility.

The nexus between rainmaking and senior leadership is very simple: Make it rain, and you will be considered for senior leadership roles. Make it rain a lot, and you could find yourself as a managing partner. Forget the childhood mantra, “rain, rain, go away.” It does not apply to lawyers. For lawyers, rain is good.

Making it rain is particularly important for women lawyers, who often also are the primary caretakers of children and/or elderly parents and are constantly trying to strike the right balance between personal life and professional life. It is very complicated, and it gets more complicated when you add “making rain” to the mix. In short, who has time to put in the work to make rain, when all of the waking hours are taken up with personal life responsibilities and servicing law firm clients?

I don’t have all the answers, but I know that young women lawyers, who wish to advance in the business, need to keep rainmaking on their minds. Although they may not have time to dedicate a lot of effort to the concept at a time when their families are young, they cannot dismiss it in their career planning. They cannot afford to miss opportunities to tell people in social as well as business settings what they do and what their firms do in hope of making connections they can turn into rainmaking.

“What their firms do” is particularly important and may seem confusing. But it is critical to the future of women lawyers in terms of understanding how they can benefit from work of other lawyers in their firms. Here’s the concept: Law firms love money and will reward those who bring it to them. If you bring a new client to your firm, even if you do not have the expertise to perform the work, you will get a certain amount of credit for the work that other lawyers do on behalf of that client. More specifically, if you are a healthcare lawyer, and you are responsible for bringing an estate and trust client to your firm, you will get credit for making that connection and be financially rewarded.

So, the next time you are out socially or at a professional event, don’t forget to include information about your law practice and your firm in your conversations. It might be a lot more fun to talk about kids or vacations or the new family dog, but don’t overlook your professional future. Remember that every new client you bring to your firm can make your journey to senior leadership a lot easier.

For more information from the ABA about the current state of women in the legal profession, see this article.

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Revisiting the Motherhood Penalty for Lawyer Mothers

Posted on November 7, 2024

I am writing this blog just days after the 2024 national elections, at a time when issues affecting women’s health, including the right to abortion and procedures like in vitro fertilization, were on the ballots in some states and on the minds of many voters. The election results demonstrated once again, however, as women know so well, that progress on women’s issues is hard won. Some times we have to fight the same battle over and over and over again to be victorious.

Even though the issues affecting women at large fell short in this election, it does not mean that the issues lack importance or that we should give up on advocating for them at every turn. And that is similarly true of the issues affecting women lawyers, which also need greater awareness and heightened advocacy.

One very important such issue falls squarely under the umbrella of the work-life challenge. The disparate treatment experienced by women lawyers after they become mothers touches so many young women lawyers, and it is another of the issues affecting women that is defined by progress achieved over a long continuum.

For women lawyers like me, who had their children in the 1980’s, it was hardly a surprise to find that, once we became mothers, our dedication to our profession and our opportunities in the profession were questioned and attacked by employers. Because we did not have the advocacy groups which exist today, we were forced to take whatever the men in power around us were willing to give us. And, as it turned out, that was not much. As unsatisfactory as those results were, we hoped for more for our daughters. But did we get it?

A 2023 survey would lead us to think that the answer is no. That survey, conducted by the American Bar Association (ABA) Commission on Women in the Profession, found that mothers in the legal profession are much more likely to feel perceived “as less competent and less committed” than their male colleagues with children or other colleagues without children. Interestingly, the survey showed that 60% of mother lawyers working in law firms settings had this perception, while only 25% of male lawyers with children experienced that same perception. Most of the new lawyer dads continued their practices business as usual, with the exception that many of them worked more hours after they became dads. (Hmmmm. Wonder what is behind that. I will leave it to your musings.)

Recently, that ABA survey was the subject of a panel at Harvard Law School. Part of the discussion centered on the choices that lawyer moms had in “the old days.” The consequences of the motherhood penalty then included women leaving jobs and, in some cases, leaving the workforce altogether. It also was discussed that the women who experienced the penalty in the early years likely were not members of the “sandwich generation” — perhaps because they were younger when they became mothers than many first time women lawyers are today. Many lawyer moms today are caring for aging parents as well as children because women are having children into their 40’s and their parents are living longer. So the impact of the motherhood penalty may be even more significant today.

With these facts, it is more important than ever that law firm managers look carefully at the perceptions of the value of mother lawyers at their firms and the adverse effects of firm policies based on those perceptions. It is also important that law organizations and women lawyers affinity groups make the subject a priority for their members.

If the billable hour continues to be the primary measure of individual values and family values are not prioritized by law firms, lawyer mothers will continue to be disadvantaged. It is no secret that the largest share of caretaking responsibilities land on women, and, with only so many hours in the day, too often lawyer moms become discouraged and succumb to self doubt. They begin to believe that they are not good enough at the office and not good enough at home.

Harsh consequences like that are not productive and can be very harmful. My experience tells me that increased attention to these inequities need to be addressed sooner rather than later.

For more information on the survey, check out this website.

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Role Models For Our Profession — From the Outside

Posted on November 3, 2024

Sometimes the best advice for lawyers comes from outside the profession. This is one of those times.

Recently I watched an interview on Meet The Press that resonated deeply with me and reminded me of the importance of mentoring in the legal profession. It was an interview of Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe, both Olympic medalists, two of the best athletes in the world, who have recently retired from their respective sports of women’s basketball and soccer. Together they continue to bring awareness to issues of equality in women’s sports.

After responding to questions about their individual accomplishments and the effect of their role models for other women athletes, Rapinoe said, “We built something that was sturdy to stand on.” And Bird wholeheartedly agreed.

Think about that. Of course it is true that they have built remarkable legacies, but the implications of those words go far beyond their individual accomplishments. They were looking to the future and their influence on future talent.

Both Rapinoe and Bird agreed that their accomplishments and record-breaking careers will be bested and broken by women athletes in the future and that it is what they expect and hope for. Yes, expect and hope for. Their desire as role models is to see others go beyond where they have gone.

That recognition, that being at the top of your game creates a responsibility to help those who come behind you, has not always been present in the profession of law. It is unfortunate and disappointing, but it is true.

My career in the law has spanned almost five decades, and it was tough for women lawyers in the beginning. When I was starting out, there were relatively few women lawyers, and fewer women partners. Many of the women, who had made it to the partnership, were not interested in mentoring the young women behind them. They were reveling in their own recognition and the view from their perches at the top, and they were reluctant to share the limelight. That left those of us at the bottom with a dearth of mentors and feeling very lonely and exposed.

However, over the years, so many other women entered the profession, and so many have made it to the top. Although less than 25% of equity partners as women may not sound like much to you, historically it is real progress, and there are so many other women lawyers in the pipeline to increase that percentage. Women-to-women mentoring has come a long way, and there is no shortage of strong women mentors in our profession today.

And we need to keep it that way. This current trend must continue to be important for women lawyers. It needs to be a priority, and women lawyers must be willing to share their experience and expertise to build foundations for future women lawyers that “are sturdy to stand on.”

Be one of those women lawyers. As you advance in your career, look behind you and reach down a helping hand. Use the example of women athletes as your north star.

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Is Bullying on the Rise in the Legal Profession?

Posted on October 10, 2024

Yes, bullying. That repugnant behavior which most often derives from places of insecurity and needs to demonstrate power. That bullying. It is out of control in our society today, including among leadership, so it should not come as a surprise to see it raise its ugly head in our profession. While perhaps not a surprise, certainly very disappointing.

So I read the results of a recent survey on the subject of bullying among colleagues in the legal profession with great concern. I am familiar with the authors of the survey, having met one of them, as reliable and trustworthy, which only heightens my concern for survey results which include that 24% of the lawyers surveyed experienced bullying in the last year. The survey, conducted for the Illinois Supreme Court Commission on Professionalism in the Fall of 2023, is summarized in this Reuters article.

I am no stranger to bullying. It comes with the territory for an opinion writer. Opinion writers, no matter how diligent they are in researching their topics, too often become targets of uninformed and angry people who have needs to vent. And it can be very ugly, especially when the vehicle for the bully is faceless social media. So I avoid that result whenever possible. Sometimes that is regrettable because I enjoy the back and forth and the opportunity to learn through genuine differences of opinion. But not when it is uncivil and disrespectful. And I am not alone in this. One very well-regarded columnist for mainstream legal media has shared her similar experiences with me.

So, I leave it to you to read the results of the survey for yourself, and I encourage you to do that. Perhaps your reaction will be like mine and you, too, might question the definition of bullying described there. Is it too subjective? Does it echo vulnerability of recent generations of young lawyers who have experienced an abundance of praise and hand holding? The difference in the occurrence of reported bullying within age groups might suggest that as a possibility.

However, if most of what is reported in the survey results appears to be genuine and accurate, it should give you pause. If that is the case, I hope you will discuss it within your professional circles. Keep an eye out for it and do whatever you can to combat it. The practice of law is hard enough, and bullying must be stopped before it gets out of control and becomes accepted behavior.

What a shame it is when law starts imitating society in this way.

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A Significant Benchmark for Best Friends at the Bar

Posted on October 3, 2024

I did some important Best Friends at the Bar research lately. Should have done it earlier. Sure glad I did it.

As you may know, the Best Friends at the Bar project consists of weekly blogs on the website, articles in mainstream legal media, speeches at law schools, law organizations and law firms throughout the country, and a book series for all young lawyers and their mentors and managers.

Over the more than 15 years of Best Friends at the Bar, I have written hundreds of blogs and scores of articles, including monthly columns for the ABA Journal, spoken at nearly 100 venues across the country and abroad, and written five books, which are available through leading publishers. I am proud of that record.

But what matters most to me is how many young lawyers I have reached with my positive advice for career satisfaction and advancement. That is much harder, if not impossible, to calculate. I can reflect on ballrooms full of young lawyers and other members of bar associations. I can recall law school lecture rooms with no available seating, and I can remember law firm venues equally well attended by young lawyers and their managers. But that is not hard and fast emperical data.

So, I got busy analyzing my book royalty statements. And, to my delight, I found that at least 20,000 of my books are in circulation. That means that I have reached a minimum of that number of readers. Not exactly NY Times best seller status, but the audience of young lawyers is discrete, if not niche. So 20,000 books sold is very good news from my perspective.

If you are a behind any of those statistics, thank you. A writer without readers is a lonely existence, and a speaker without audiences is just plain embarrassing!

Best Friends at the Bar is for you, and it has been my pleasure and honor to discuss issues with you and include your concerns in my writings. Be assured that I have been listening and have done my level best in giving you the kind of candid advice that will help to advance you in your profession — advance you and assure that you will become responsible and responsive mentors to the lawyers of the future.