Have you heard of the Motherhood Penalty, as it relates to mother/lawyers?

A lot has been written about it. Most recently, Harvard Law School published an article describing the challenges faced by caregivers working in the legal profession, especially women with children (http://hls.harvard.edu/today/working-lawyers-and-the-motherhood-panelty/). The purpose of the article was to explore the reasons why mothers in the legal profession are much more likely to feel perceived as “less competent and less committed” than their male colleagues with children and their colleagues without children.

Even though women now outnumber men in law school, women are the primary caretakers of their children and of household tasks. Because women are doing a disproportionate amount of the labor at home, keeping up with the demands of billable hours can be very challenging. With mothers responsible for more of the caretaking of children, especially, it is hard for the women to be able to compete at the same level as colleagues without those responsibilities. These circumstances eventually lead to a pay gap between women and men and fewer opportunities for advancement, missed work opportunities, and difficulties in finding sponsors.

This has been going on for years, and women lawyers have suffered the disadvantages and the penalties. I know it well. At the time that it was decided that I would become the first woman partner in my first law firm, my future looked very rosy. That is, until I announced that I was pregnant with my first child. Then everything changed for me. That was in 1983, a time that you may view as the dark ages, but, although the situation has improved for women lawyers in the intervening years, many of the same challenges remain. Those challenges are real, they are significant, and they can be very harmful to careers.

BUT, please do not misunderstand me and spare me the negative feedback. That is no reason why women lawyers should not have children. I have two, and they have been the greatest joys of my life. But, they did complicate things in my professional life. However, like so many other women lawyers, I handled it. I persevered. I reinvented myself countless times to continue in a profession I loved, and I thrived. But it was much more difficult than it should have been. It still is for too many mother lawyers, and firms need to pay greater attention to the challenges mother/lawyers face if they want to retain the significant talent that women lawyers represent.

But now, there seems to be a very different approach being advanced. In a recent article in Law.com, two women lawyers at a very prestigious law firm turn the issue of these challenges and the realities upside down. In “The Motherhood Advantage in Law: Time to Flip the Script” (https://www.law.com/americanlawyer/2025/01/10/), the authors argue that, because “a working mother’s early-to-mid career teaches efficiency, delegation, and executive functioning far more effectively than a management training course, it is time to bid goodbye to the ‘motherhood penalty’ and embrace the ‘motherhood advantage’.” The authors make good arguments about the value of time management resilience, empathy, and relationship building that working mothers acquire and demonstrate, but the conclusion that these skills result in a motherhood advantage is a bridge too far for me. I believe that the burden should not fall on the women alone and that law firms need to be involved in the solution to the disparity between the experiences of male parents and female parents in the practice of law. It is what should be expected in this day and age, and I am not willing to push the motherhood penalty under the rug so easily.

What do you think?

The holidays typically present stresses, especially the December holidays.  Knowing how to handle these stresses is important to surviving them and safeguarding your wellness.

My first topic this week is hopefully a “one-off ” and involves very bad decision making that certainly added to the stress of the holidays for one law student.  As reported by several news sources, a pregnant second-year student, whose baby was due on December 2, 2024, a date that fell within the exam period at her law school, requested permission to take exams early to avoid delivering her baby during the exam period and missing exams.  The administration at Georgetown Law initially denied her request because it was considered to be “inequitable to other non-birthing students.” That denial angered fellow students, who lodged a petition in support of the request, causing administrators to reconsider their denial.  Although a reasonable accommodation was reached with the mother-to-be, the actions of the administration offend me in my role as advocate for women lawyers, and the fact that it happened at my law alma mater especially disappoints me.

My second topic concerns how young lawyers can deal with holiday stress, and I also draw on my background for this information.  I am a member of the Virginia Bar, and I was pleased to see an article in the December issue of the Virginia Lawyer hilighting this important subject.  The most important messages for young lawyers addressed there include the following:  Setting boundaries with both family and professional colleagues during an especially busy and hectic season; Practicing mindfulness by staying “in the moment,” remaining positive and not requiring perfection in every situation; And providing as much personal time and self-care as possible.

This is very good advice — but it takes a purposeful and direct approach.  Be respectful when articulating your needs, and don’t forget to express gratitude for the cooperation of others in helping you get through the holidays and enjoy the season.