And So It Goes for Parental Leave … A Continuing Saga

Parenthood, as wonderful as it is, can have a negative impact on careers of both women and men, especially women I submit. The “caregiver bias” and the “motherhood penalty” and the challenge for men who want equal leave periods are all thorny issues. And it seems like they have been so for a very long time without much success for either the lawyers seeking and returning from leave or the firms that suffer unnecessary turnover to fill the retention voids.

As many as ten years ago, when I was presenting a program at a large law firm in Texas, I encountered this issue head on. After my luncheon address, I was asked to meet with the members of the Management Committee. I hoped it signaled that the committee members had been pleased with my program, but I did not know what to expect.

The committee members showed up both in person and virtually from remote offices, and, after some pleasant exchanges, the question presented was “What more can we do for our women lawyers?” Wow, I thought, that’s a long discussion, and my contract is only for a day! Fortunately, I had met with the young woman lawyers earlier that morning, and I had a pretty good idea what was first on their list of grievances. Maternity leave, of course. Although I had my own disappointing tales from so many years ago, I now was being asked to see the issue through the eyes of the all-male Management Committee.

My response went something like this: “For starters, you could respond to the proposed parental leave policy that the Women’s Committee sent you two years ago. And you also could stop referring to the Women’s Committee as the ‘Mom Com’, which the women lawyers find very insulting.” It got the attention of my audience — as in “busted” — and the members of the Management Committee were speechless, perhaps for the first times in their collective lives. And they should have been because they had not performed well.

Ten years later, this is still a very big problem for individual attorneys and also for firms. For firms that have not addressed it with both wisdom and compassion, the issues of poor morale, unfair compensation and being passed over for promotion associated with poor parental leave policies are very costly in terms of attrition and replacement of talent. And for the lawyers caught up in the unresolved issues, the result can be very disruptive and harmful to careers. I know this only too well. My children were born in 1984 and 1985, and my colleagues did not call me “The Queen of Reinvention” for nothing.

The article referenced at the end of this blog appeared recently on Above the Law and should be read by both sides —- those who seek fair treatment without punishment and those who are making the rules. Here are excerpts from that article which provide a much better answer to the question “What can a firm do to support new parents?” Much better, indeed, than the example set by the managers at that particular firm in Texas.

Top leadership will benefit from understanding the value of working parents within the firm and should reflect those insights in decision making related to parental leave policies. … Ensure [that] managers are informed, supportive, and intentional, focused on the long game. Along with the employees, they should develop strategic plans for offboarding and – crucially – re-onboarding on projects and cases so that the employee does not lose [career] ground before and after leave.

[Management should] create a shared language and defined process across the organization while allowing for flexibility to adapt to individual circumstances, and empower parents to be engaged, communicative, and proactive in managing the process surrounding leave.

There is a long way to go, but this is a start. For best results, the article should be read in full.

The Above The Law article can be found at:
https://abovethelaw.com/2026/01/why-firms-cant-afford-to-ignore-working-parents

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Thought For The Week: “When someone tells me ‘no,’ it doesn’t mean I can’t do it, it simply means that I can’t do it with them.” Karen E. Quinones Miller

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An Important Lesson For All Lawyers

Occasionally something comes along that validates my work at Best Friends at the Bar in such a way that I am compelled to write about it. This is such an event. A young woman lawyer teaches us all an important lesson about how to be honorable when our profession is threatened.

Rachel Cohen, former Skadden associate, has been named 2025 Lawyer of the Year in the Above the Law annual competition. As you may recall, Ms. Cohen resigned from Skadden early in 2025 as a protest to the firm’s capitulation to President Trump’s Executive Order interfering with firm policy and practices.

This distinction is a great honor for any lawyer but particularly for a young lawyer. Ms. Cohen now finds herself in the company of past recipients including Supreme Court Justices and other very distinguished members of the Bar.

Not only has Rachel Cohen shined a light on the power of women lawyers, but she also has demonstrated that young lawyers should not be excluded from the wisdom discussions. Her actions demonstrate that it is not necessary to be a “seasoned” lawyer to understand the difference between right and wrong.

Rachel Cohen understood that difference very well. She was willing to risk what so many lawyers hold to be the dearest — money, position, power — to embrace a decision that rocked the profession and inspired others to follow.

This is truly a feel good moment. At a time when feeling good in our political and legal environment is such an unusual treat.

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Thought For The Week: “All cruelty springs from weakness.” Seneca The Younger

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Let’s Take a Step Back

It is being reported that Biglaw has changed its practices about recruiting on law school campuses. It used to be that 1Ls could not be approached about summer associate positions until well into their first semester of law school. Now, it appears that the practice has changed and that Biglaw is coming after first year students, who look like superstars on paper, even before the Fall semester begins. In addition, it also has been reported that these same Biglaw firms are incentivizing upper class students, who have experience working at the firms, to help identify desirable first year students, befriend them, and participate in the “sell”.

And, most disappointing is that NALP, an advisory organization specializing in law student placement in coordination with law schools, has reversed its prior rigid “hands off 1Ls until October 15” recommendation and replaced it with a “reasonableness standard.” I think we can assume that the “reasonableness” will be controlled by the big money.

To be frank, this sounds abusive at the least and abhorrent at the most.

Earlier in my career, I taught Legal Research and Writing to 1Ls at Georgetown Law. I am very familiar with the insecurities and practices of first year law students. And, to my knowledge, not much has changed over the years. Many 1Ls suffer from Imposter Syndrome, and most of them are insecure to one degree or another. Any indication that they can do better or that they need to put in additional time is met with fear. It is all about grades and who comes out on top. They are surrounded by the best and the brightest at schools in the Top Tier, and both their competitive genes and insecurity genes are working overtime.

To give them as much time as possible to get established in such a super competitive environment, organizations like NALP have traditionally recommended “hands off” these vulnerable students until they get their footing. That is, until now. Until Biglaw sees another advantage. Until the value of the “win” usurps the collective wisdom of practitioners.

You and I can write the script. Law firms approach these kids, feeding their egos and assuring them that they will be superstars and that the firms know it and will take a chance on them before they actually prove their merit. And at a time too early for the 1Ls to see right through it. Give them some experience in law school, and they will realize that it is all about grades and honorariums. They will know that, if the grades turn out to be substandard, the law firms will dump them like yesterday’s bad news. It is a game of inches that first years should not be tempted to play.

This is wrong, and I hope that clearer heads will prevail before too much damage is done. I hope that we will go back to giving the kids a break. Let them settle in. Let them gain some degree of security well before law firm recruiters pounce on them.

According to an article on Above the Law, students have appealed to the ABA to consider the matter. I am sorry to say that gives me little comfort. I am familiar with the workings of the ABA, having been a monthly columnist for the ABA Journal at one time. I do not put much stock in the ABA to square off against Biglaw. They are one and the same, unfortunately.

But there is power in numbers at the ABA. If you are an ABA member and are concerned about this changed policy, contact the ABA. Use your power. Tell them hands off the 1Ls. There are plenty of first years who will distinguish themselves in time to meet the needs of Biglaw.

And what is the rush, anyway? Oh, money, money, money, of course. Marketing advantages for Biglaw. Not human advantages for future lawyers.

Ugh. I have seen this movie before.

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Thought For The Week: “Rejection is redirection.” EJAE upon recently receiving a Golden Globes Award

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2026 Is Already Giving Us a Lot to Think About

Happy 2026. I hope it turns out that way. I am counting on all of you to keep your legal minds razor sharp because I think there is a lot coming your way in 2026.

I have to say I am suspect about the way it is starting out. And, as a student of history, my thoughts turn to Marie Antoinette at times like this.

You may recall Marie as the wife of Louis XVI and the Queen of France under his reign. Although she is lauded as having been a better leader than Louis in many respects, she is best remembered for her indifference to the masses, who were suffering while the Crown spent opulently on palaces, brocades, and opera glasses. When confronted with the needs of her people, specifically that they were starving and had no bread to eat, Marie responded “Let them eat cake.”

Suffice to say that things did not turn out well for Marie and Louis.

Not a student of French history? No problem. You don’t have to be. Just remember that, as lawyers, you have special tools to consider and ponder when similar events arise.

Now if you think I am referring to Nicolas Maduro of Venezuela and his wife Celia Flores and their own cruel brand of indifference to the masses in Venezuela, I am not. Although I abhor the way the people of Venezuela have suffered under the Maduro regime, my analogy is much closer to home.

Think about what is happening in our own country. Perhaps, as an American citizen, you care about the basic needs of our own masses and issues like food insecurity, inadequate and unaffordable healthcare, and how families are being torn apart and injured by immigration policies that are inhumane.

If that is the case, perhaps you should think about how those issues and others are being ignored while our president is building monuments to himself, gilding the White House, and playing emperor for a term …. or more if he has it his way.

Consider the plans for the new East Wing, the Arc de Trump he is planning to erect somewhere in your Capitol City, the Imperialistic-style and arguably illegal takeover of Venezuela, and now the obsession to take over Greenland, which is “inconveniently” owned by Denmark, a NATO ally. And contrast that to what appears to be an attitude of indifference about the many more mundane issues that involve the basic care taking of the American people.

Those mundane issues take attention for certain, but they also require money to address and solve. Will that be possible as our public treasure is being depleted to “run” another country? Although you will hear that private donors are expected to pay the freight for some of what is being done or planned by the Administration, you may want to keep your eye on the public treasure that is funded by US taxpayers and how it may be drawn down to support these operations. If you think that US oil companies are going to pay for it all, think again. To date, they don’t appear to be too enthusiastic. So now that we are in for more than a penny and what is likely more than a pound in Venezuela, what happens next? Keep your ears attuned to what may become the sucking sound of depletion of the US treasury.

There is a lot to think about in 2026. All I know in these first few days is that ignoring the needs of the People should have consequences because it is the People’s United States of America. And there is precedent in history for ignoring the People.

This is where your legal and communal skills need to kick in. Read. Analyze. Discuss. It is no time to just stick your head in the sand and wish for a better day. The legal profession is no place for Pollyannas.

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Thought For The Week: “Happy 2026.” More to come on that. I am back!

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