I always have been a proponent of women lawyers having “Personal Definitions of Success.” That important theme runs throughout my work because traditional models of success in the practice of law do not fit all women lawyers. For example, climbing the ladder to partner, especially equity partner with profit sharing AND business promotion responsibilities, is not a good fit for many women lawyers with small children and significant family responsibilities. For them, senior associate or of counsel may be much more comfortable at certain times during their practice years.
One of my books, Best Friends at the Bar: The New Balance for Women Lawyers (Wolters Kluwer, 2012), explores these themes extensively and candidly addresses problems, advice and solutions unique to women in the practice of law. It is based on research that is currently applicable, my own experiences, and the experiences of other women lawyers who successfully transitioned in their practices, in some cases to meet the needs of their personal lives.
As it turns out, the important concept of Personal Definitions of Success has taken on even greater significance today. According to a recent Substack article by Vivia Chen, formerly of Bloomberg Law, there is a rise in the popularity of traditional wives (“trad wives”) which is influencing the number of resignations by women in the workplace, including women lawyers. That article, captioned “Women Are Quitting. WTF” cites information from the Bureau of Labor Statistics showing that women are currently dropping out of the job market in significant numbers, specifically 600,000 women “abandoning ship” in the last year. Many of these women have college or higher degrees and young children. By comparison, during the same period of time, college-educated men with young children saw a rise in participation in the workplace. In Chen’s words, “Men are living like their grandfathers” while women have responsibility for more of the childcare and home responsibilities.
Chen states, “This is puzzling. Because just when we thought that women were unstoppable (remember, they’re the majority in colleges, law schools and medical schools) they’re instead losing ground. What’s going on?”
The reasons for this societal and professional change are explored in the article, including female with children stigma, the unavailability of flexible work models, and the insistence by employers of returning to the office. These realities, described as hostile, are causing a reversion from 2023 statistics and even the presence of women in the workplace prior to the pandemic.
But it is not all bad news. As cited in the article, The Economist magazine sees the most recent “dip” for women as temporary and caused by the current baby boom following the pandemic. I hope that is correct, but I also know that women lawyers, in particular, have so much to lose in terms of professional satisfaction and financial support for their families. And I am worried.
Fortunately for women lawyers, there is a middle ground and one far less impactful than jumping ship and sacrificing all that women have worked for and achieved. That is why my book on finding a suitable balance is so important. It provides choices, alternatives and successful transitions that can serve as life rafts for women lawyers who are struggling with the responsibilities of home and family.
Times change and children grow. I know from personal experience the disappointment of taking even a few years off after achieving so much. In my day and in my case, support mechanisms to avoid that result were not available. But that is not true today.
Women lawyers no longer need to leave their jobs to support the male definitions of success. We can define ourselves. And we should.
